mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
