Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
