Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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