Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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