who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she looked like the before picture.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
