My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize