Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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