my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
