the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
