p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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