okay pat passed out under dana's car
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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