using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize