That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize