i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
