Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
