I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
