I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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