He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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