you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
