I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
not ubering you a puppy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
