i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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