fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize