i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
