who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
