roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
