if you like me you must not know who I am
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
