my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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