apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
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He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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