I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
