we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You are the jesus of drinking
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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