My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize