I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
