quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
