oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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