he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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