we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
