Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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