Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
