Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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