with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
