me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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