end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
