Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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