ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he was CRYING into my vagina
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
