I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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