this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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