So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
