well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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