I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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