I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
