My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
