Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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