wakey wakey hands off snakey
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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