I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
