maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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