is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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