Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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