I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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