you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
