also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
